GOTCHA: The Ups, Downs, Emotions, and Controversy of Adoption Days

In the world of adoption, there are moments that stand out for the adoptive family. One significant moment that stands out between the adoptive parent and adoptive child is the very first day that they can call each other family.

The first time the parents can finally bring their child into their house, to make it a home. It's the day where everything is finalized for good.

It's "Gotcha Day."

Whether you are familiar with the term or not, "Gotcha Days" are very controversial in the adoption community. While Gotcha Days in some families are laden with emotion and significance, in other adoptive families, the term hasn't resonated with them. For many adoptees, adoption day can bring up a lot of interesting emotions. It can be hard for adoptees to understand the concept of adoption days--especially as they grow older.

Gotcha day, is not a term that sits well with some adoptive families. Although the meaning and celebrations behind the word is significant to every adoptive family and their child, the actual word "Gotcha Day" does not reflect those celebrations.

Gotcha Day doesn't resemble the new addition to a family, and instead resembles a sense of being taken or kidnapped from your family. And it can be hard to celebrate something like a Gotcha Day, when you know some of the struggles your adoptive child and their biological family had to go through in order for you to adopt them.

Adoption day is supposed to celebrate the beautiful and hard parts of adoption itself, and Gotcha Day, to some families, do not symbolize that.

However, this feeling is not universal, which is why the topic of Gotcha Day is so controversial within the adoption community. While Gotcha day for one family could be seen as something bad, it could be the exact opposite for another family.

Gotcha Day for one adoptee, could be their favorite day ever. It could be something special, and something that brings them closer to their family. It could be something that they would never want to change. Everyone has their unique experiences with Gotcha Day, and that's okay.

One thing that adoptive families will realize during their adoptive journey, is that not every adoptee's story will be the same. Some families will struggle more with things than another family. That's what adoption is all about; trial, error and learning lessons. It's important to have these conversations about Gotcha Day, and give your child the opportunity to voice their concerts and feelings about the topic. There, you're creating and strengthening a deeper bond with your child.

In the end, just remember there's no right or wrong way when going about celebrating Gotcha Day for your child and family.

And, that's okay.

SEEN. HEARD. VALUED.
SINCERELY, THE IDENTITY TEAM

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Code Switching: Navigating Through Two Cultures

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Understanding Attachment: A Family's Journey Through Adoption