Code Switching: Navigating Through Two Cultures
Through the moments and realities of transracial adoption, there will always be cultural differences between the parent and child. Whether it be something sacred such as cultural religions or something as simple as having different hair textures, there will always be something that sets the child apart from their adoptive parent.
However, that's not a bad thing, especially when parents and children are navigating through these differences the best way they can. As an adoptive parent, traveling through these unfamiliar cultural territories can be enlightening and daunting, but it's what you need to do in order to connect with your child.
One cultural aspect that is bound to occur in transracial adoption is the term "Code-Switching." For adoptive parents, it can be hard and even hurtful to see your child acting differently in certain settings, especially in a way that you've never seen before. You start to wonder,
"This isn't how I raised them, so why are they acting like this?" or "Are they embarrassed of us?"
Understanding the concept of Code Switching could be hard for an outsider to grasp, especially since for most, code-switching is used as a coping mechanism and a form of cultural adaptation.
Primarily used by Black Americans, Code Switching helps them navigate certain non-black spaces that they probably wouldn't have been able to if they spoke in a way that's familiar to them. Code Switching isn't just about changing mannerisms of speech, or "talking Black" as some people would say, but it's about navigating societal expectations, identity, and belonging. For transracial adoptees, especially Black adoptees, Code Switching becomes a survival strategy, a way to bridge the gap between their two cultural worlds.
For Black adoptees, speaking in a way that only other Black people can understand creates a cultural bond and a sense of home, something that the adoptee has been longing for in this journey of self-discovery. However, that could mean different things for adoptive parents watching their child navigate this cultural shift.
Some adoptive parents may feel frustrated when they witness their child talking informally around their friends and then code-switching to speak more formally around their family. Adoptive Parents will sometimes not understand why it's happening; some might think that their child is ashamed of their parents and how they were raised. Some parents might believe that beneath the surface of code-switching lies the fear of loss and disconnect between adoptive parents and children. When in reality, it's the adoptive child's attempts to connect and embrace their cultural heritage.
It's no doubt that the misunderstanding and miscommunication of code-switching can cause a rift in the relationship between the adoptive parent and child. However, as an adoptive parent, learning early on that your child's journey navigating these cultural spaces is not a rejection but an exploration of oneself.
Creating safe spaces for communication and openly supporting your child through their yearning for their cultural discovery will foster a deeper connection and bond with your child. As a transracial adoptive parent, you must allow your child to connect with their roots and culture, whether that's through music, celebrations, religions, or even code-switching, without the fear of judgment and rejection.
Code Switching is just one aspect of the journey of transracial adoption, but it's a significant one for both parents and children. Understanding and embracing code-switching and other cultural differences, adoptive parents can navigate the challenges of cultural identity with love and empathy as their child begins their journey of growth, understanding, and self-acceptance.