Navigating Adoption & Biological Relationships in Transracial Families
Adoption is a journey filled with complex emotions, cultural challenges, and profound bonds. In a recent episode of Inside Transracial Adoption, Isaac Etter sat down with his sister, Sarah, to discuss their unique experiences growing up in a transracial family. This candid conversation sheds light on the intricate dynamics of adoption, the impact on sibling relationships, and the ongoing process of cultural awakening.
The Early Days of Adoption
Isaac and Sarah’s journey began with Isaac’s adoption at the age of two. Sarah, who was born less than a year after Isaac was adopted, never knew a time without her adopted brother. This close age gap created a unique bond as they navigated the ups and downs of childhood together. “We’ve gone through all the highs and lows together,” Sarah recalls. “We’ve been through so many of the rocky roads together.”
Navigating Identity and Cultural Awareness
One of the most significant challenges for Isaac was coming to terms with his racial identity. Raised in a predominantly white environment, he often struggled with feeling different and out of place. Sarah reflects on her own realization of the cultural aspects of her brother being black. “Being black wasn’t just about skin color; it was about culture,” she says. “I realized how deeply that impacted you.”
Their family’s journey toward cultural awareness was further enriched by their father’s commitment to understanding black history and literature. Sarah shares how reading works by Malcolm X and W.E.B. Du Bois transformed her perspective on race and identity. “Understanding Malcolm X as a person was really crucial,” she explains. “It helped me see how our upbringing impacted you.”
Sibling Support and Advocacy
Throughout their childhood, Isaac and Sarah often found themselves in the middle of family conflicts. Despite the challenges, they consistently supported each other. “You protected me a lot, and I advocated for you a lot,” Sarah says. This mutual support created a strong sibling bond that has continued into adulthood.
Isaac’s desire to take back power and redefine his identity led to moments of humor and resilience. “You used to introduce me to your friends as, ‘This is Sarah, my sister, she’s adopted,’” Sarah recalls. This playful reversal of roles was a way for Isaac to assert control over his narrative and challenge societal expectations.
The Impact of Adoption on Family Dynamics
The dynamic between adopted and biological children in their family was complex. Isaac often felt like he was not what his parents wanted, while Sarah felt the pressure to meet conventional expectations. This tension created a unique family dynamic that required continuous navigation and understanding.
As they grew older, Isaac and Sarah began to see the benefits of their different paths. “People got two very different models and that left a lot of room on the table for them,” Isaac notes. This realization helped them appreciate the diverse experiences within their family and the growth it fostered.
The Importance of Documenting and Sharing Stories
For Isaac, documenting his life has become a crucial part of understanding his identity and sharing his journey with others. He emphasizes the importance of being open about his struggles and triumphs, both for himself and for future generations. “I would love for there not to be anything left unsaid,” he says. “At least like people got to see me.”
Sarah’s journey has also been marked by a commitment to understanding and supporting others. Her work in refugee resettlement and international relations reflects her passion for creating positive change and advocating for those in need.
